Ooo, meet Aaa
by aimsknight06
Summary: After a freak magic ceremony, Ice King's fanfiction comes to life and everything spills into Ooo! What hijinks and shenanigans will ensue?
1. Chapter 1

"So now... Make them _REAL_!"

"Yeah! Like totally hunking gorgeous and— _AAAAHHHH!"_

The statues glow with an otherworldly light. A single ray shoots upwards, shattering the side of the Ice Mountain. It meets with the sky and seems to penetrate time and space. From the rift of contact, a portal gapes wide and pages- millions of pages with Ice King's writing scribbled all over spill out. They writhe and flutter, cluster and playfully dance like leaves in the air.

They form a path, from which the portal produces the beings who will descend upon. Ice King and Lumpy Space Princess gawk from the Ice Kingdom's tallest tower at the spectacle that envelopes all of Ooo.

Figures form from the pages. Flesh, bone and blood form bodies that are too familiar. Yet they are too far from the surface for mere eyes to glimpse. All the good people of Ooo merely see a parting in the sky. They can glimpse the space beyond their little ball of dirt.

And suddenly, it's gone.

…

"C'mon, Jake!" Finn laughs, running far ahead of his brother into the woods around their tree house, "You getting old or what?!"

There is no response.

"...Jake?"

"Ahh! AHHHH!"

"Jake!"

Finn runs, backtracking. Jake's voice is coming from the brush. Finn pushes it aside to find Jake and some weird... cat!?

"AHH- Alright, alright! Ya got me!"

"JAKE?"

"Eh? Oh, hey Finn!" Jake ardently loops over, "Guess who's this I found! Her name's Cake! A cat! Who knew! A beauty, right?"

"JAKE! You're married! What would your kids say?!"

The cat named Cake stares at Finn.

"And who are _you?_?"

"M-Me? I'm Finn the human! And I'm a hero!"

"Hmm..."

"Hey, come on, you two," Jake quips, "Let's go to the tree house and talk there, a'ight?"

"Nope," Cake turns briskly, "I'm looking for Fiona."

"Huh? A friend? Maybe we can help."

"Nah, it's alright..."

"CAAAAKE?" A girl's voice echoes through the forest, "Where are you? CAAAKE?"

"That's her!" Cake perks and bounds into the bushes. Finn and Jake look at each other, shrug, and chase after Cake.

Next to an old rusty car, they find Fiona. Cake jumps into her arms and they embrace, giggling.

"Aww, I thought you got lost..."

"Me? I thought you was lost!"

"Um..." Finn takes a step closer to the mystery stranger. He couldn't quite see her face buried in cat fur, but he noticed her strange hat.

"Hm?"

She looks up and their eyes meet. For a moment, their astral bodies interlocked and touched. Finn could not get enough of her blonde hair and she could not look away from his eyes. They were locked.

"Uh... Hi."

"Hi..."

"I'm... guessing you're Fiona?"

"Yeah..." The two were rather tongue-tied. Cake looks at Fiona funny, then to Finn. Jake has his face screwed up, like he'd eaten a lemon.

"I... I'm Finn."

"Are you... human?"

"Aha... Yeah."

"I thought I was the only human in all of Aaa..."

"Aaa? Where's that?" Finn relishes the thought in his mind. She's _human._

"This place... is Aaa."

"Uh... I hate to break it to you, but this is Ooo," Jake interrupts, "Dunno where you two came from."

Then he comes up to Finn's ear, "Dude, let's take them to Bubblegum. Maybe something's off their noodle."

"Huh? Wuh?" Finn snaps out of his trance and looks back, uncomprehending.

Jake sighs and begins to lead the group to the Candy Kingdom. As they walk, Jake can see that Fiona an Finn are still enthralled by each other. He sees the similarities, then understands why Cake stared at Finn.

"Wait till PB hears about this..." He mutters under his breath.

Cake stares at the two humans, "Creepy... I swear they're like twins..."


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey, Peebs!"

Finn kicks open the door and is squirted in the face with cream.

"Augh!" He takes a lick, "Mm! Vanilla!"

"AHH!" A pink, gummy guy runs past him, hiding behind Fiona. Princess Bubblegum trails behind with her cream gun.

"Outta my way, Finn! That guy's an imposter!" She points the gun. Fiona draws a scepter with ribbon that sprouts a sword.

"F-Fiona! That girl's crazy!" The pink guy cowers behind Fiona.

"Wait! Wait!" Finn jumps in between the two, "Peebs, hear me out. And you, whoever you are..."

Fiona takes a protective stance,"This is a Prince, Finn. Prince Gumball."

Jake rubs his eyes. How did he not see it?! Fiona and Finn were lookalikes... And now there was this guy who looked like Bubblegum! Except he was a guy... Wait a minute... Prince Gumball... Where had he heard that?

"Why were you spraying cream at 'im?" Finn asks PB.

"He came outta nowhere, Finn. Freaked the heck outta poor Starchy in the process. The banana guards came calling and I saw that he was trying to masquerade as me!"

"Whoa, whoa! I was not masquerading as anyone!"

"Uh – but... PB is the only person I've seen _made_ of bubblegum. She _is_ Princess Bubblegum."

"Princess?! When did this happen?" The Prince bursts out.

"Okay, guys," Finn puts his arms up, "Let's sort this thing out. Anyone thirsty? Let's talk this thing over tea. C'mon."

Fiona and PB lower their weapons. Gumball stays behind Fiona.

"Alright," PB claps her hands, "Let's get sorted out."

At her command, Peppermint Butler comes out. In his hands, he balances numerous cups and saucers. Regally, he arranges them in a circle on the royal carpet and pours sugar tea for six. He takes a bow and leaves as quickly as he came. Finn and company make themselves comfortable in the castle main hall.

"Whoa! What the dingdongs?! Who's this?" PB, finally noticing, jabs a finger at Fiona.

"Huh? Oh, she's Fiona. A human like me, PB! Isn't that great?"

"But... That's impossible..." PB sputters, "Finn, she looks-"

"Wait, you're human?" The prince looks at Finn incredulously, "But... Fiona is the only human in Aaa-"

"Psst," Fiona tugs his sleeve and whispers in his ear, "Gumball, apparently, we're not in Aaa anymore. This place is Ooo, or something..."

"Ooo?"

"You're not from around here, are you?" PB looks at the two of them skeptically, "Where is this Aaa?"

"It's where my kingdom is. The Candy Kingdom," The Prince looks at PB's shocked face, "What?"

"C-Candy... Kingdom?" PB is at a loss for words.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. That's impossible. PB made the candy Kingdom. There's nothing else like it anywhere!"

"Umm, I'm sorry, yellow talking dog, but I built _my_ Candy Kingdom and _I_ thought it was the only one. That is... Until I wound up here..." The Prince looks about the cake walls, "Incredible. It looks exactly like my palace..."

"Well, that can't be. I used a unique material from rare gumberries that only _I_ know how to cultivate. I have the only bush in all of Ooo-"

"No way!" The prince practically jumps up, " _I_ used gumberries! And only I have access to _my_ source in my secret lab!"

"Secret lab?" Fiona looks at Gumball, puzzled. Gumball ignores her. He is intently locked in a staring contest with Bubblegum.

"What the buzz is goin' on?!" Finn looks about, lost and bewildered, "How can they both – They're so... alike..."

Cake and Jake exchange looks. A nagging feeling bites at Jake to recall something important, but he is unable to. All he can tell right now is Finn and PB have both been cloned... very wrongly.

…

"Hey... Hey!"

Marceline opens one eye cautiously. She stares up to a boy's face. One the same skin tone as her, with ragged black hair and red eyes. He wears a plaid red shirt and has long canines. Most shocking of all, he has two red puncture marks on the side of his neck. Like she does.

"Hey... You alright? Sorry 'bout that, but you shouldn't have crept up on me like that..."

"Ugh!" Marceline sits up suddenly and pushes him off. A red welt stung across her clavicle.

She'd heard a sound near her cave as she was just lounging. She came armed to find the source among the trees. Then this... guy just jumps out and smacks her across the chest with the backside of his ax. She fell over and all of a sudden, he's on top of her.

"Says you... You're sneaking around vampire territory, you know?" She fingers the bruise. It fades rather slowly. His ax must be made of a harmful material, like Nightosphere metal, or Underworld ore...

"Oh?" He smiles smugly and eyes the red marks on her neck, "Where' the rest of you?"

Marceline makes a growling sound, "This area... all the way to the river; it's my turf. And I'm Marceline Abadeer, the Vampire Queen."

She floats a few inches above ground to intimidate him. He floats also and lazily circles her as he lay on his back, observing her. She watches him carefully.

"Queen, eh?" He says it mockingly, not taking his eyes off her, "Well, I'm son of the Vampire King, heir to the Nightosphere, yada yada... But I don't remember anything about a _queen_."

Marceline recoils slightly from his stares, "...Who are you? The Vampire King died a while ago. He turned to ashes..."

"Yeah, I know. And he named me his heir. So now I can either rule the Red Throne or the Nightosphere. Choices, choices..."

"You can't be the heir. I'm the heiress to the Nightosphere. Hunson Abadeer is my dad!"

"Whoa, chill! I don't know who's this Hunson guy, but my mother, Helga – she's the ruler of the Nightosphere."

"Helga – What-?!" Marceline had never heard of something so ridiculous.

"Anyway, you got a pad I can crash?"

Before she can respond, he zips past her and discovers the cavern she'd been living in.

"Wow! Nice..." His voice echoes, "Called it!"

"GET... OUT!"

Marceline pulls out her two-bladed ax bass from her harness and lashes it viciously at him. He dodges and whips out his one-sided ax, adorned with a skull. Their axes meet with sparks. Both grapple, as they both are surprised.

"You... have an ax bass?" He speaks first, "But I … Only I have one..."

"And you..." Marceline hadn't noticed the six strings before. She was sure only she owned this kind of an ax in all of Ooo. The ax was an heirloom she turned into an unique instrument...

"Who _are_ you?"

They both put down their weapons and look more thoroughly at each other. He says his name. Marceline's dead heart almost jumps for the first time in 500 years. Her eyes widen as her eyes adjust to that body and she remembers. _She_ had given him that name. That face... He...

"I'm... Marshall. Marshall Lee."


	3. Chapter 3

Fiona and the Prince fidget nervously as Bubblegum looks over scanners connecting the sensors she'd placed on them. Jake and Cake are talking in the lobby. Finn stands by the Princess and gives worried glances at the subjects.

"Umm... Peebs, is this really necessary?"

"Uh-Huh, yeah, sure, great Finn..." She mutters absentmindedly, "Odd, their chemical and genetic make-up are almost identical to yours and mine, save the extra chromosomes... But there is something odd about their molecular structure..."

She scribbles hastily onto a notepad. Then her brow furrows and she gives a long sigh.

"Alright, you can let them out Finn," She switches off the equipment and gathers her notes to retire to her personal study, "Nonsense... What does it all mean...?"

Finn spares no time removing the wires and ushering the two out of the test chamber.

"Yeesh, Finn. This Princess is sure stuck-up..." Fiona dusts her sleeve.

"Hehe, yeah..." Finn chuckles nervously, "Hey, um, lemme, uh... show you my tree house!"

He practically pulls Jake away from his conversation with Cake, "C'mon, Jake!"

"Let's go, Cake! Gumball, you coming?" Fiona looks to her Prince. He looks about sideways.

"...Nah. I'll stick around here. I want to hear the test results."

"Alright," Fiona waves to him, "Careful, Gumball. She might stick a needle in ya."

Finn waits for Fiona in the castle gardens, riding Jake's giant form like a steed.

"So, uh, we going or..." Jake twists his head about to look at Finn, "What's the hold-up?"

"Jake!" Finn exclaims, "You can't just leave a lady! You gotta, gotta let her on your ride, y'know?"

"But she's got her own ride."

"Huh?"

Finn looks at the doorway and sees Fiona mounting on Cake. Cake stretches until she's about Jake's size. Finn is speechless.

"Lead the way, Finn," Fiona says.

Finn sees her teeth, chipped like his own.

"Uh... Yeah..." He flounders a bit, much to Jake's enjoyment, "Let's go, Jake."

"Ooh! Wait, I think I should know the way! I'm gonna beat ya to it!" Cake bounds forth, despite Fiona's calls.

"CAAAKE! Wait! Are you sure- WOOAH!"

"Wha-?!" Finn snaps out of his chagrin, "After 'em Jake!"

The two race along paths that led to the same place and were similar in destination. Finn had never seen any girl move so fast and laugh so hard, not even Marceline. Fiona had never met a boy this wild and straightforward. Marshall tended to confuse her. The two screech to a halt in front of the familiar tree fort. Jake arrives a fraction of a second earlier.

"I knew it!" Cake says triumphantly.

"No way..." Fiona dismounts and walks toward the tree house slowly, "It's just like ours..."

"Huh? No way!" Finn jumps down and walks up next to her, "Y'mean... it's just like with PB's castle... They look that much alike?"

"So that's how you knew it was here!" Jake shrinks down and looks at cake, "It's in the same place!"

"Mm-hmm. Home sweet home!" Cake shrinks and sniffs hungrily, "Do I smell pancakes?!"

"Aw, man..." Finn smacks his forehead, "BMO must be cooking even though we tell him not to touch the stove..."

"BMO?!"

Fiona dashes up to the tree house before Finn can respond. She opens the door and quickly clambers up the staircase leading up to the living/kitchen room. BMO somersaults through the air and hits the handle of the skillet, flipping the pancakes and landing them neatly in a stack on a plate set on the adjacent table. BMO lands on the floor and the skillet subsequently hits BMO on the head.

"Ow."

"BMO!" Fiona scoops up the unsuspecting console and holds it up to eye level, "You're... still you!"

"Huh?" BMO looks over Fiona's shoulder at Finn, Jake and Cake who follow, "Finn, Jake, who are these... girls?"

"Huh?" Fiona looks a little shocked at BMO's remark. Then she looks a little wistfully and puts the little robot down gently on the counter, "Oh, right … Even if you look like BMO... You're still not Aaa's BMO."

BMO looks quizzically at the stranger, "Another BMO? But... Mo said he made BMO unique. Right, Finn and Jake?"

"Achh," Finn and Jake shrug, defeated, "Well, it's something like this..."

…

"Ohh, man..."

Ice King peeks out from his hiding place behind his dirty clothes hamper cautiously. His blank eyes scan about his now ruined pad. Ice Queen was rummaging through his drawer.

"Eugh! You actually wear this?! No!" She tosses his weeks supply of blue tunics to the floor, "After this, I am _so_ doing some shopping at Wizard City..."

No, no, no! How had it all gone so wrong?! The Ice King balled up in the spot where he stood, surrounded by his faithful penguins. They were all looking rather confused at him and the strange new lady in the Ice Kingdom.

"Why did I get stuck with the crazy ugly?! I only wanted Fiona..." Ice King mutters ruefully, "C'mon boys. Think. How do we get her outta here?"

The penguins look at each other and shrug.

"ICE KING!" The monarch flinches at the sound of his new roommate, "Get over here!"

"Y-yes...?" He peers out meekly, then ducks immediately as a bunch of his Finn and Jake BFF photos are tossed over in his direction. The photos flutter to the floor.

"This is a whole lotta junk you got here," She fishes out his friendship locket, "Tell your penguins to get rid of it all."

"WHAT?!" Ice King's temper flares at the sight of his ruined photo collection, "THAT'S IT LADY! GET OOOUUUT! I WILL NOT HAVE ANYONE TOUCH MY FRIENDSHIP COLLECTION!"

His beard wings flap about and he rises into the air. Ice particles swirl about and his power surges. His hands glow white with accumulated power. The Ice Queen, unfazed, rises about in the same manner and her own power surfaces. The two cryo-magicians circle about, the air bristling with snow.

"Is that any way to talk to a _queen_?" She says icily.

"Hey, I'm King here, lady. The head honcho," Ice King replies leeringly, "And this is my turf."

"Well, let's see then, shall we?" Ice Queen dangles the friendship locket about, "You're awfully sentimental."

Before Ice King could yell, the locket freezes over and shatters in her hand. He only watches speechlessly as the fragments shimmer for a second before falling and the photo floats about like a leaf. Ice Queen freezes at the sight of the photo. Finn and Jake stand posing in front of Princess Bubblegum.

"Who..." She blasts the photo and watches it crinkle away with disgust, "Who is she?! She looks just like Gumball..."

"NOOO!" Ice King howls at the sight of his treasure destroyed. As he squeezed his eyes shut, an ice storm festered and roiled about in the room.

"It can't be..." The Ice Queen is oblivious to the King's despair, for she is lost in a new turmoil of her own, "Gumball's got a fiancee?!"

In the distance, Peppermint Butler glimpses the Ice Kingdom's tallest mountain tower blow it's top, spewing white ice bolts. A shivering cold storm gathers about in the horizon, in the direction of the Ice Kingdom. Alarmed, Peps drops his tray of lump sugar and cream and scurries off to tell the Princess of the impending snowstorm.


	4. Chapter 4

BMO looks about the odd scene at the dinner table. Finn and Jake sat opposite to Fiona and Cake. Fiona and Cake... BMO scrutinizes at the two strangers at the table. It was rare for girls to be invited to the table, and it was definitely weird that Jake was so okay with a cat. He said she was magic like she was. Fiona and Finn were also interesting. They ate in the same rough fashion and they registered as "twins" when BMO tried out the new scope scanner gadget Bubblegum had installed for him. For Jake and Cake, it read "opposites".

"Ahh," Jake leans back, content, "Nothing beats breakfast for dinner."

"Mm, Nope!" Cake pats her furry stomach, "Well, maybe 'cept for my sizzlin' salsa combo."

"Salsa? Man, I'd love some!" Jake jumps up.

"JAKE! You just ate!" Finn scolds. He was pretty full.

"Aw, don't worry, there's still plenty o' room in the ol' basket," Jake's stomach expands to show his point, "Now, how about that salsa?"

"Let's get to it!"

Jake and Cake begin quibbling in the kitchen over ingredients. Finn and Fiona are left at the table with BMO. Finn looks up from his bacon pancakes to see Fiona eating. She looks up at the feeling of being watched and their gaze locks again. BMO squirms a bit nervously.

"This is really weird."

…

"Bonnie?!"

Marceline bursts in through the candy doors and shouts for the princess at the top of her lungs. The banana guards notice a strange guy following her in. He looks kinda like her, but in a parallel universe kind of way.

"Uh, so who are we looking for exactly?" Asks Marshall Lee apprehensively.

"Bonnibel. AKA Princess Bubblegum. She'll figure out this jazz."

"Princess, huh? You know, where I come from, Princes were the real guys with power."

"Marceline!" PB appears, stack of papers in hand, "What are you doing, jacking up my peeps?!"

"Oh, there you are!" Marceline flies up to her, "Listen, I've got a huge problem. There's this guy who's-"

"Your possible equal and twin? Yeah, I know," The princess interrupts, "Me and Finn already met ours. I'm still trying some calculations to explain this possible phenomena."

"No! He's not my-"

"Sorry, like I said, I'm busy!" The princess leaves. Marceline throws her hands in the air.

"Ugh! Why does she always have to be like that?!"

"Hm. She sure reminds me of someone I know..." Marshall rubs his chin.

"Marshall? Is that you?"

The two vampires turn to the voice. Prince Gumball stands nonchalantly, in a bathrobe, under a corridor threshold.

"Gumball?" Marshall Lee's jaw drops, "What are you... What are you wearing?"

"Huh? Oh," The Prince chuckles sheepishly, "I just took a bath. Did not expect another familiar face here."

"Who's he?" Marceline looks queerly at the gummy Prince.

"Prince Gumball. AKA his snooty highness," Marshall smirks, "Seems there' others that wound up in this place."

"Others...?" Marceline could not believe it. If this was really Gumball and she's right about her gut feeling on Marshall, then...

"Oh, Fiona and Cake were here just now with their look-alikes. You oughta tell her you're here."

Fiona? Cake? Now Marceline had to tell the Princess. But just as she's about to burst into Bonnibel's lab, Marshall yanks her towards the doors.

"Marshall! Let me-"

"Come one I can't stand the air in this snobbish place."

Despite her protests, Marshall drags her out of the castle. He mockingly bows to Gumball before leaving. Gumball scratches his head, confused.

Peppermint butler suddenly bursts in, arms flailing.

"Where's the Princess?! We must prepare for a national snowstorm!"

 _Snowstorm?_ Gumball suddenly remembers. Amid all the head-reeling revelations, he'd forgotten that if all his comrades and rivals were here, then _she_ must be here as well. His crazy stalker, Ice Queen. And if this world was really such a reciprocate, then there is a male version of her probably as nutty and powerful as she.

"She's in the lab," Gumball stops the butler for a bit more. "Say, is there an atomic heat glazzmoglobber here?"

"Why, yes," The butler looks stunned at this stranger whom the princess had called her guest, "But it's locked with the Princess' code, I'm afraid."

The butler continues on his way, glad to be away from that look-alike of the Princess. He didn't like it. He'd gotten a whiff of the scent lingering on these doppelgangers of the Princess, Finn and Jake. They smelled of magic, the kind of Magic so great and dangerous Belle Noche had to be created to destroy it.

"Princess?" He pushes aside his thoughts along with the door. It is dark in the lab, save for green luminescence where Bubblegum was crouched over her work.

"Hm? Yeah, Peps?" She doesn't turn around.

"Princess! There is trouble approaching from the Ice Kingdom! I've seen the clouds! We must tell the citizens to lock down!"

"Oh no..." The Princess groans, but not at the news.

...

The green luminescence lamp fizzles as the electricity is suddenly sapped and all of the kingdom goes into darkness. The night scares several of the citizens and they explode. Some get angry about being interrupted in the middle of their business. They bump into each other blindly shrieking as a sudden chill settles from the sky. Powders of fine snow rain down like sugar as voluminous clouds gather in the night. Blue lightning streaks across, growing in intensity. The Kingdom is not the only area affected. Hail as big as a fist is raining down in the Slime and Fire kingdoms. The Treehouse sits at the edge of what seems to be the ice-storm of the century.

"Whoa, look at those clouds..." Finn puts down his ice cream to gaze at the clouds outside, "We better bundle up, guys."

"Huh?" Fiona walks up next to him, "Storm? Y'know, back in Aaa, this stuff was usually the work of the Ice Queen."

"Ice Queen?" The pang of familiarity hits Jake again, "I've heard of her somewhere..."

"Geez, she sounds even more bummin' out than Ice King. Jake we better check it out."

"Hmm..." Jake doesn't hear Finn as he puts on his thinking cap.

"JAKE!"

"Whoa! Okay, okay..." The two brothers leap out of the treehouse together. Finn lands on Jake as he morphs into a car.

"Uh... You guys hold the fort here. We'll be back before you know it!"

Fiona and Cake watch as the two drive away.

"I can do that..." says Cake sulkily, "Hmph. Them boys are such showoffs!"

"Yeah... I mean, we can help, right? They don't know what their jumping into if they meet the Ice Queen..."

"Oh, don't you start makin' excuses!" Cake digs at Fiona's arm, "YOU like him!"

"What?! No! I... We hardly know each other!" Fiona blushes.

"You're practically twins!" Cake flails her arms in emphasis, "Ohh, what do you think is gonna happen if Marshall and the Prince find out? Hm?"

Fiona looks exasperatedly at Cake's smug face and sighs.

"BMO, you can take things from here. Let's go already."

…

"Oop, there they go."

Marshall, after practically lugging Marceline to the treehouse, arrives just in time to see Fiona ride a giant Cake off in the direction of the Ice mountains. He finally releases his grip on Marceline.

"Ugh! What is wrong with you? Uhh! Are you deaf?!" She spat at him angrily, rubbing her arm.

"Hey," Marshall says, ignoring her fury, "What say we crash in there until they come back?"

"Who, Finn and Jake? Oh..." Marceline remembers, "You mean Fiona and Cake."

"Well, yeah. I mean, this is their place."

"No, it's not," Marceline looks at the old house, "It's Finn and Jake's. I gave it to them."

"Who're these two? They seem like a pretty big deal," Marshall casually opens the door and lets himself in, much to Marceline's ire.

"Ughhh, sheesh," She palm-smacks her face. He was the same character she'd created from then, at Ice King's story-telling. No wonder he was so annoying, she'd made him that way.

She turns around to gaze at the worsening weather. As snow falls gently, she is suddenly reminded of the Ice King's castle. And what she'd found in the lowest levels while snooping around invisible.

"Marshall?" She calls out.

"Mmm?" Marshall sticks his head out, his mouth full of jelly donuts. BMO is viciously trying to kick him out but to no avail.

"We're going to the Ice Kingdom."


	5. Chapter 5

"Whoa..." Finn looks about at the raging storm enveloping the Ice Mountain Range, "Ice King's really lettin' off his fireworks..."

"We better be quick, bro," Jake's eyelids protrude his eyes far out of his face, like binoculars, "Seems like the storm's reaching beyond to the Kingdom!"

"Alright, Ice King...!" Finn pulls out a silver sword he'd found in the Tree-house treasure pile, "Prepare for a beating!"

The brothers charge into the fray.

…

"Soo... We're going to the Ice Queen's place?"

"Ice _King._ "

"Whatever."

Marceline grit her teeth. As much as she hated it, they would have to see the Ice King again. Simon, in other words. She watches as Marshall Lee lazily flits about, nonchalant. He hadn't been given the back-story. She hadn't thought of it for him when she told of it. And why should she? That story … was make-believe. A world where she wouldn't have to deal with all the heaviness she had here. So why didn't she just throw it in his face right now, shatter him with the cold truth of this reality? For some reason she couldn't bring herself to ruin this image of her bent into a world of simplicity. Something held her tongue from revealing the hard facts.

Let him fly about in ignorance.

The storm was growing worse as they neared. Icy lightning shot out of the head tower in sporadic bursts, illuminating the surrounding clouds with a light blue hue. Snow and blizzard winds rage about, making them shield their eyes.

"I hope they're okay..."

"Who? Fiona and Cake? Yeah, they'll be fine..."

"Finn and Jake," Hisses Marceline.

"That's what I said."

…

"Finn!"

Fiona's cries are answered only by the wind's howl and icy chill.

"We gotta get into her castle!"

"Slow your roll, sister!" Cake's legs turn into springs, "Up we go!"

The two are launched into the air towards the head tower. Fiona can see a large shadow moving beneath them in the blizzard.

"Finn?! Ow-"

They slam smack dab into the body of the tower, a few feet from the mouth window. A sudden gust erupts from the opening, blowing them off the mountain.

"Fiona!" Cake makes a long grab for Fiona as they free fall.

A wind blows Fiona just beyond her grasp.

"Caakke! – Oomph-" Something breaks her fall. No... warm arms are holding her...

"Fiona?!"

Fiona looks up at Finn.

"Finn!" She wraps her arms around his neck.

Finn feels his insides melt on contact. He'd seen her falling and jumped off Jake to intercept her. Now he wasn't sure whether or not he regretted it.

"Finn!" "Fiona!"

Jake and Cake come running.

"You two okay – oh..."

Fiona is still hugging Finn. Jake's mug curls up again, much to Finn's embarrassment. Fiona quickly lets go when she sees Cake. Cake's face is squeamish with delight.

"W-What?"

"Fiona, what are you doing here? I said you guys would watch the tree-house!"

"Well, we had to come help!" Fiona retorts, blushing, "You don't know what you're getting into with her-"

A crash. An explosion of cold air and ice shards. Jake and Cake form a barrier around the two humans from the shrapnel.

"AAAAAAAHHHH-"

The Ice King lands into a snow bank. Snarling, he pops out and bristles, floating back up. The Ice Queen floats out of the hole in the wall she made and looks down at him.

"That... HURT!" He shoots a frozen beam at her, "Now you've done it lady!"

She dodges it and makes birds out of the swirling snow. They fly downwards towards Ice King. He in turn conjures his icemen to fend against the aerial assault. Jake and Cake loosen their folds a little so Finn and Fiona can see the spectacle. They can't believe their eyes.

"Ice King … who's that lady he's fighting?"

"Ice Queen … who's that old -"

Fiona stops short. Something inside feels naturally attracted to the old man who's blasting about. Why?

"Oooh..." She hears Cake murmur, "Who's that honey bun there?"

"Cake!"

"Who? What honey bun? Ice King?" Jake looks at her, confused, "Did you hit your head or something?"

"Cake! What would Sir Monochromicorn think?!"

"Well, if he'd seen this guy, he'd known this Ice King be way outta his league!"

"Alright, bunk this!" Finn jumps out of the Jake and Cake barrier, brandishing his sword, "Take this, Ice King!"

He jumps up, swiping at the Ice King's tunic. Ice King doesn't even register his presence. He fires ice lasers which the Ice Queen returns. The two have this shootout as the snow around them swirls into a storm, descending slowly.

"Give it up, lady!"

"You first!"

Their next blast knocks Finn into a drift. He pokes his head out and angrily shakes off the snow.

"Finn! Be careful!" Fiona calls out.

"Aim for the crown, man!" Jake hollers.

"Oof!" He narrowly dodges an icicle as it flies over head. The fight is getting worse, and so is the storm. The cold is getting to him. Wearing a t-shirt is not the best way to ward off the cold. But he'd lost that sweater Bubblegum had made him...

The Ice King and Queen are now wrestling with each other on the snow, standing on a bit apart and trying to freeze-touch the other. Numbly, Finn staggers up and charges with significantly less energy. He brings his sword down as the two monarchs separate and send a blast towards each other, with him in the crossfire.

"Finn!"

"No – Fiona!" Cake's hand gets frozen trying to stop Fiona, who has gone running past the ice beams to reach Finn.

She shakes the frozen, leaden feel from her legs. If she can't reach him...

"F-Fiona, don't – argh!" Finn's sword is blasted out of his hands. His hand slowly becomes encrusted with ice.

Ice Queen sends another blizzard beam. Ice King sees Fiona and pauses for a second, letting the beam hit him directly. He tumbles into a pile of snow. Blearily, he crawls out and looks about. His eyes fall on Fiona, who's trying to help Finn stand, both of them being exhausted from the cold.

"Oh, my glob..."

Ice Queen spies the two heroes. A look of disgust flashes on her face. Sparks fly from her fingers towards the two. Ice King, trying to react, sends an intercepting ray. Fiona, seeing the pincer attack, shoves Finn out of the way. She sees his lips form a soundless "NO" as he extends a hand to reach her.

ZZZZKKKRRSSSHHHH

It's the sound of countless grating ice shards in the cold air. It's the sensation of tearing pages out of a books spine. His heart had stopped on realization. Her touch is still warm where she'd pushed him forcefully. His lips are contorted but his voice is stricken by despair. His vocal chords knot as she is enveloped by the blue and white light. His eyes widen at the passing impact. Upon landing in the snow, he regains his voice.

"FIONA!"

Ice King looks up in horror. In the sky, scattered by the magic shots, are pieces of his tattered fan-fiction.


	6. Chapter 6

"Ah...AHH...!"

Fiona's nowhere to be seen. The pages filled with Ice King's deluded tales float down slowly, some coated in a sheet of ice. Finn's mind is frozen by the impact of loss. Then it begins to burn with hate, all directed at the one to blame.

"ICE KIIIINNGGG!" He charges at the monarch, swinging his frozen arm about like a club, having lost his sword, "YOU-"

He falls flat on his face as Jake grabs his legs. The dog quickly begins to wrap around his brother in an effort to keep him restrained.

"Bro! Dude, calm down-"

"Jake, Let...go-" Finn strains with his numb muscles against the sinewy rolls of flesh. The cold is taking off his fervor.

"Fi...Fiona..." The Ice King falls to his knees, crushed. Cake's eyes are fixed at where the impact took place. She doesn't move.

"Ha!" The Ice Queen begins to chortle haughtily, "Well, this is just great!"

She begins to float off the ground. Higher and higher she ascends, all the while relishing the thought of her greatest rival gone. Then the memory of the female Bubblegum resurfaces. Prince Gumball and Bubblegum, _her_ Gumball...

"One rival down isn't enough!" Her fingertips crackle with freezing energy and she sends out a wide arc of flashing ice bits before flying towards the Candy Kingdom, "I'm coming my LOOVE!"

"No..." Ice King buries his face in his hands. How had it all gone so wrong so fast?!

"Finn, just calm down... Finn?" Jake loosens his hold on the now unconscious Finn. He gently lets Finn down and stretches over to pick up a scrap of paper.

It's a title page. _Adventure Time with Fiona and Cake_ , it reads. Suddenly it's all clear as crystal. That time when Ice King captured them to read his godawful piece of fanfiction to them... Fiona... and Cake...

"Fiona..." Cake finally speaks, "What … happened?"

She walks over to Ice King, who is sobbing quietly, "Where is she?!"

"Cake-" Jake starts, but is cut off by Cake's "NO!"

"Fiona isn't dead! She isn't..." Cake's tail is all fluffed up and her eyes are wild in denial, "She … Ughhuhuhuh..."

The cat curls up into a ball in the snow and trembles inwardly. Jake picks her up and Finn, along with several pages and looks over at Ice King.

"I'm, uh, gonna get them someplace warm..."

"No, wait," Ice King sniffles and walks over wobbly, "Take them inside, there's something I have to tell you..."

…

"Look!"

The storm has calmed, but snow still continues to fall and the wind is still cold. But what do you expect in the Ice Kingdom? Marshal points upwards at the shadow of Ice Queen flying over head, "Where's she going? Meh, probably to get Gumball again. Heh, what a wad..."

Marceline gets a twist in her gut. It's just a millennium's worth of intuition, but suddenly, she really needed to see Bubblegum. As she's about to turn around, a haughty voice calls to them.

"Marceline? What the lump are you doing here?"

"Huh?" Marceline turns to the voice.

Nestled in an igloo are Lumpy Space Princess and Lumpy Space Prince. LSP without a mustache comes out and waves enthusiastically.

"'Sup girl?!" She shouts out. She notices Marshal subsequently and shouts, "Looks like you found yours too huh?!"

"What?" Marceline flies up to her, "LSP, what are you doing?"

"LSP? Might you be referring to me, female Marshal?" Mustachioed LSP looks up quizzically from his tea. He sees Marshal come behind Marceline, "Oh, hello, my good Marshal. Got that new song wanted? I eagerly anticipate it's reception."

"Still workin' on it."

"LSP, do you know what's going on here?" Marceline herds female LSP away from the boys conversation, "Why are Ice King's fanfiction versions of us here?"

"Like, oh my glob. I can't believe you sound so ungrateful, girl!" LSP throws up her arms, "I got sooo tired of waiting for my prince Charming, so me and Ice King used a blibbity spell to make them all real!"

"WHAT?!" Marceline almost yells that part out loud. Trying to keep her hands off whatever neck LSP might have, she breathes in quick bursts through her clenched teeth, "You... did what now?!"

"What? It's for true love, so it's all okay."

"Ugh! LSP, did you ever think about what could've happened? What if your stupid spell blew all of Ooo to blunk?!"

"Well it's not happened yet, so it's lumpin' fine! Aren't you happy with Marshal?" LSP glimpses Marshal from the corner of her eye, "Not my type, but he's hot."

"Ugh..." Marceline shakes her head in disbelief. Then she remembers her gut feeling, "That psycho Queen's gonna kill Bonnibel!"

"Who? Marce-" Marceline flies off before LSP finishes asking, "Where's she goin' in a hurry?"

"Marshal, do join us for some tea," Prince gestures at a spot in the snow next to him.

Overhead, the skies darken and continue to rage with wind and snow albeit at a slower rate. It's like a low point before the spike of a storm. Somewhere in the corners of the sky of Ooo, a crack has begun to widen...

…

 _Fi...on... Fion...a..._

He was calling to her. Calling, but the voice wasn't his. It changes.

 _Finn! Finn... Fi...n..._

The voice is now calling his name. But why did it call Fiona's name?

"FINN!"

Finn looks up at the ice ceiling and his bro's face. What was this musky smell?

"Uhh..." He rolls over and finds Ice King's face staring right beside him. In a pelt bed.

"AAAAHHH!" Finn jumps three feet in the air backwards, landing in Ice King's dirty hamper. He fumbles his way out of the smelly clothes and bumps into a bookshelf before falling backwards. A dirty sock dangles on his head, "YEEEAAAGGHHH!"

"Finn! Finn! Shhh! Calm down, man!" Jake picks the sock off, "It's all right. We're in Ice King's pad."

Finn furiously brushes at his hat. Then he remembers. Fiona. Ice King. The white light. Impact.

His face contorts with rage and he flies at the Ice King, only to be held back again by Jake.

"Finn, chill! He-OW!" Jake lets go from the sudden force of Finn's elbow in his face.

"ICE KING!" Finn lands one solid blow to the monarch's face, knocking him back.

Ice King does not react but continually looks at Finn pleadingly. As Finn is about to continue his barrage, he finds himself suspended by magic.

"Wenk."

Gunther, having donned the demonic wishing eye again, holds Finn frozen in mid-step.

"Finn, listen to me," Ice King walks over slowly, his voice slow and sane, "I know you liked Fiona. I always did. I shouldn't have let the Queen out like I did. But... there's a way to bring her back."

"Well do it then!" Finn gnashes and strains against the magic hold, "What're you waiting for?!"

"Well, um..." The Ice King looks down a bit, "I'll need all your help. And only if you're ready to find out something I don't think you'll really like."

"Finn, let's talk about this..." Jake says slowly to the crazed teen, "If you do this, you may regret it. Forever."

"Why? What don't I know?"

Jake opens his mouth to speak. But no words come out. Gunther lets Finn down. The Ice King knocks at his bookshelf, revealing a door to a winding stairway. Finn feels an air of magic blow from downstairs.

"This way. And don't blame me when you see. You wanted this."

Finn and Jake follow the Ice King down the staircase. Gunther takes off the eye and sits next to a catatonic Cake. Cake's eyes are open, but her mind is far away. She'd seen what was down in the basement. The Ice King tried to break the news as softly as he could. She still couldn't believe it.

As they descended, the air got thick with sweet smelling perfume. In the final chamber, Ice King reveals a room filled with greeting flowers and two ice statues. One of Fiona and the other, Cake. A large chasm is split in the ceiling above the statues, as though something burst out.

"What the..."

"This is where I made them, Finn."

"What?"

"I... made Fiona and Cake.


	7. Chapter 7

"The Life Giving Magus. You remember him, right? Well, we got pretty tight after the whole thing with Giuseppe and the apples. After you gave him the dog-hat, he got really huggy and stuff. I thought I'd give it another shot, what with my new fan fiction and all. But the bozo said that the same thing would just happen all over again."

"So I thought I'd look for another way. I remembered Lumpy Space Princess once kidnapped me because she wanted my stories to come to life as much as I did. And for a moment, it actually worked too! You shoulda seen the look on her face when it just turned out to be a raccoon! Ha ha!"

"Anyway, so since my library card was canceled when I tried to kidnap Turtle Princess, she went to the library and bought out a bunch of books; y'know, since she's got connections. We must've looked for like, ages. And nothing really came up so I went to Wizard City to look for some books. But I couldn't get into the restricted section! Can you believe it? Story of my life! And after all I'd done for that place too!"

"So, we were just about to give when, praise Glob, I remembered my shelf of old stuff. Since Marceline plucked out some gnarly stuff, I figured maybe we oughta take a crack at 'em. So we did and, well, we found this stuff that connected to all the other stuff we'd found in other books and wham! We got a plausible spell in the works! We get all the stuff and steal just a bit of the Magus' flame to complete the ritual. Simple stuff, y'know. Then we say the magic words and them pages begin dropping out of the sky like crazy. Too bad I didn't know where Fiona fell. I got stuck with Miss Crazy while LSP just ran off with her prince charming. I'd been stuck here with her here the whole day! And then you guys came. There you have it."

Ice King lets out a long sigh after his lengthy monologue. Finn can't help but look at the statue of Fiona silently. Jake begins with questions.

"What's with the statues?"

"Oh, they acted as totems in the ritual." Ice King points at the spot in between the ice sculptures, "That crack there? The magic blew right outta there, through the roof and into the sky. I'm telling ya it was like a fireworks show. 'Course I fixed the stupid ceiling, but you get the point."

"And the flowers?"

"Decoration! Y'know, something nice to welcome them to Ooo. I spent three days gathering them all. All my other fan fiction is buried under there. You like?"

"Did you think this through properly, Ice King?" Jake inquires, "What if, like, the universe decides to cave in because there's one too many of the same people in the same dimension?"

"Well, it'll be a pretty sweet ride until then!" Ice King cackles before tearing and sobering up a little, "But yeah. Me and LSP had to collect hairs and clothes from you guys so that the ritual would work. It makes you guys kinda the same person. Why? Has anyone else realized you guys are actually gender-swapped counterparts?"

"Mm. PB might not have, yet. But you can't fool the universe," Jake's mind wanders to Prismo, "Man, I'm really wishing you didn't do this, stalking us and collecting hairs and all... How many people did you summon exactly anyway?"

"Um, all of them really," Ice King shrugs, "That's like, what, ten people or something?"

"Oh glob..." Jake smacks his forehead, "Finn, we – Finn?"

Finn is transfixed on the closed eyes smile on Fiona's face as she holds her hand out as if holding a gem. He turns to Jake wordlessly. His eyes are large and unresponsive.

"Man, you want some chocolate or something?"

"No..." Finn's voice is almost a whisper, "No, I'm … going out for fresh air."

""Well, hey, wait. I haven't even told you how we bring Fiona back yet-"

Before Ice King finishes talking, Finn is already walking up the stairs. His steps are shaky, but neither Jake or the monarch go to help him. After he's up the stairs, Jake takes a deep breath.

"It's better he knows..."

"Why? What's up with him?"

"Finn's got... well, issues with girls. First it was PB, maybe Marceline for a little, then Fire Princess..." The dog shakes his head, "He's beginning to think he's cursed. No girl he likes is ever who she seems. I mean, I don't know what PB and Marcy are, FP just dumped him for Cinnamon Bun, and you just told him Fiona was a reflection of him."

"But he wanted to know!"

"I know, and I think it was the right thing to do too. But," Jake looks down at the floor, "Even I thought that this time maybe he'd found the perfect girl."

"... Jake, how do you feel about Cake?"

"What, no!" Jake throws up his arms at the Ice King's comment, "I've got a lady! And that's Lady!"

"Ok, ok," The Ice King sighs, "Fiona was supposed to fall in love with me, you know. I've … never gotten a girl to really like me."

"Yeah, we all remember about that Princess Monster Wife. Geez, dude, haven't you learned a lesson at all about making something love you?!"

"Oh, sure, blame the lonely guy!"

Meanwhile, Finn walks out to the snow. Gunther pays him no mind as he passes, preferring to stroke his kitten baby affectionately. Cake is still a catatonic furball. Outside the storm is gone completely, replaced by a clear sky. Finn shivers only slightly when he reaches the spot where he saw her evaporate into pages of sick writing.

Jake might've known... But how could he himself have been so blind?! Of course, he liked her so he chose to ignore it. She was someone he liked because she was so much like him. Wouldn't it be better to dismiss her as an illusion and move on?

"Why can't I just like a girl...?"

"Hey man," Jake emerges behind him, "Ice King told me how we can 'rewrite' Fiona back. You up for a little adventure?"

Finn doesn't answer. Jake sits down in the snow and throws a snowball. It quickly melts into the white scenery.

"Maybe you aren't so alike," Jake says aloud, "I mean, look at me and Cake. Ice King made her from me, but do we look anything alike?"

"No... But dude, there's something messed up here. It's like... crushing on myself..."

"She's not you!" Jake kinda yells that part, "If I had you take off your shirt for a bath, you'd do it in a heartbeat! You think a girl would do that?!"

"DUDE!" Finn blushes at the mere thought, "D-Don't say things like that..."

"Alright! It's decided! We are going to get her back and then you'll see exactly how different you are! I mean who knows. Ice King wrote her to love himself, but maybe she can disobey her programming or something."

"Yeah," Finn can't keep hope out of his voice, "Let's go."

…

"Bonnibel!" Marceline bursts in, ax-ready, to the royal chambers. Ice covers a good portion of the kingdom right now. The Princess and Gumball are nowhere to be seen.

"Tch..."

"Um... Little help please?" Marceline sees Crunchy partially frozen to the wall with Pep But. The Vampire Queen shatters the encasing. Pep But quickly scrambles to his feet.

"We must hurry! The crazy woman chased the Princess out to the hedge maze!"

Marceline, heart pounding, flies past the little butler and out the balcony. She hovers slightly above the maze where ice beams are being thrown about randomly. Narrowly dodging an icicle, she flies downwards to where the Queen has the two royals cornered. Princess Bubblegum's eyes widen at her appearance. Unhesitating, she makes a cleave at the queen's back.

"Argh!" Having seen the Princess' reaction, the Ice Queen dodges just in the nick of time. Slivers of her white hair fly from the close shave, "And just who might _you_ be?!"

"Bonnie, run!" Marceline dodges sparks from the Queen's fingers and swings madly again. She sees the familiar Prince Gumball pull Bonnibel away.

"Urgh..." The Queen curses under her breath, "You stupid girl! I'll freeze you solid!"

Marceline, drawing on her power of shape-shifting, transforms into a massive bat and swats away an ice bolt. The Queen seems taken aback by her powers.

"So... You're a vampire like Marshall, eh? No matter, nothing will stand in the way of me and my Gumball!" She whizzes around the giant bat shooting bolts, much like a bee encircling a bear.

"Don't be dense! He's not into you!" Marceline swats about clumsily, "Urgh, did he have to make you so much like him?!

The Queen either didn't hear or didn't care about what she said. She zaps one of Marceline's eyes, making her yowl and flail. Her arm catches the Queen's crown, knocking it into some bushes. The Queen immediately gives a bloodcurdling scream as she plummets without her ability of flight. Marceline grabs her, effectively pinning her arms to her sides.

"Ngh, Ugh!" The Queen squirms in the bat's hand, "Let me out of here!"

"Bonnie? I got her."

"Oh, good!" PB emerges from her chambers onto the balcony about Marceline's current height, "Thanks for, um, saving us and everything."

"Without her crown she's useless," Gumball peeks out from the balcony threshold, "Let's just keep that under lock and key."

"Bonnie, I need to talk with you."

"Uh-huh, alright. Just change back first, I'm in the middle of some twin issues."

"Actually," Marceline changes back, but maintains her large grip on the wriggling Queen, "It's about that. I know what's happening."


	8. Chapter 8

"We gotta go get some 'Coalescent Goo', 'Guardians Blood'... what is all this junk?!"

Jake turns the list this way and that in confusion.

"You said Ice King gave us this list of ingredients to bring Fiona back right?" Finn sits about a little glumly on the dumb rock above their father's dungeon, "Aw, bonkers, this is impossible, Jake. Let's bail."

"What? The Finn I know never turns his back on adventure! Plus, don't you wanna see Fiona again?"

"Dude, I told you. Whatever was between us... How do I even make sense of it?"

"Well, you can't make sense of it if you don't see her again. Let's go see Bubblegum. Maybe she can help with this shopping list."

"Jake!" Lady calls as she lands, flustered, "좀 이상한 사람 이 등장 하고 그는 나에게 다음과 같은 되었습니다!"

"What?! Where is he?!" Jake looks about, a tough look on his face, "Don't worry honey, if he thinks he's gonna-"

At that moment, a black steed with a long, slender body like Rainicorn's descends before them. It has a gray mane encircling a white horn with little rings and hooves, unlike Rainicorn's appendages. Upon landing, he clicks and paws the ground repeatedly.

"Huh?" Finn gets a little closer, "This the guy, Lady?"

"네! 첫째, 그는 지붕을 통해 떨어졌다. 신 아무것도 파산 하지 감사합니다. 그는 단지 그가 원했던 것처럼 제스처를 만들기 시작했다-"

"Hey!" Jake growls, "What're you doing, getting a jump on my girlfriend?!"

The odd beast does not speak, only pawing and clip-clopping impatiently.

"Grr, Why you-!" Jake curls a big fist, ready to strike.

"Wait!"

"Huh?" They turn to see Cat frantically running up to them. She slows down and walks towards them, catching her breath.

"Just … Just thought I'd – ugh, gimme a sec, phew," She points at the dark horse, "This is Sir Monochromicorn."

"Cake, did you follow us?"

"Yeah. I gotta be there for Fiona, y'know," Cake takes a deep breath, "So yeah, you guys don't hear a word he's saying?"

"No. Is he saying anything?"

Monochromicorn clicks his left hoof and paws. Finn and Jake look at Cake, puzzled.

"What? You guys don't get it? He just said 'nice to meet you'."

"오 그 어떤 의미가 있습니다."

"What'd she say?"

"Ok, ok," Jake shrugs, "Looks like we're at an impasse here."

"What..." Finn struggles to keep up.

"We can't understand the guy, and she can't understand Lady. We'll just have to go with it."

"So, what are we looking for?"

"Buncha weird stuff. Here, have a look," Jake hands Cake the list, "Can't make heads or tails."

Cake scratches her head and takes the list from Jake, turning it this way and that. She looks back at the boys, puzzled.

"Yep, like I said, impasse," Jake forms a chair out of his own tush and sits, "Maybe we should just go ask the Life Magus."

"The weirdo who turned my hat evil … I dunno," Finn envisions an evil Fiona as a result of the Magus' unstable powers, "I mean, maybe he's gotten better. But Ice King said he couldn't help."

"Wait … If Ice King found the spell to do this whole biz in his place to begin with," Jake perks up, "What the heck are we doing runnin' our butts off on a grocery errand?!"

"These are ingredients, right? So, maybe a potion or something..."

"You know that Ice King. He's all jeffrey'd up in the noodle. We gotta take this investigation into our own hands! And I know how!" Jake's noggin flesh shapes into a deerstalker and jumps onto Lady's back, "C'mon, Finn! What time is it?"

Finn flutters his lips slightly and says, unenthusiastic, "Adventure Time."

Cake hops on Sir's back, "You guys take the lead. It's been a while, gorgeous."

Finn settles uncomfortably behind Sherlock Jake. The way Cake and Sir Monochromicorn were acting is parallel to Jake and Lady's relationship. Does that mean that Fiona's got the same feelings he has … for all those Princess- I mean, Princes? It didn't work out between him and Bubblegum. Fire Princess was his girlfriend. Was she still seeing a Flame Prince? Or had she moved one, like him? Finn shakes the muddled thoughts out of his knotted head. Come on, focus. Just bring her back first, then you can ask her yourself.

…

" _Das gibt dochs nichts!_ "

Bubblegum throws up her arms in disbelief. Fanfiction?! Magic?! No, it was definitely an inter-dimensional rift that tore open, depositing all these alternate reality selves here. No way a bumble-brain like the Ice King and the incompetent LSP could ever have orchestrated something so grand like this...! She turns to Marceline.

"So they all came out of a book then?"

"Yeah, I was there when he was telling his stories. I even told one myself about..." Marceline looks sideways at Marshall, who's chasing Chocoberry, "...him."

"Well, this can't all just be ink and paper. I ran tests and they have the same structure as us, but with some gender anomalies, of course. This stuff is way beyond crazy mumbo-jumbo, Marceline," PB declares dramatically, "I think someone must've been messing around in my lab and accidentally cloned us all."

"Riiiiiight," Marceline scoffs casually. Marshall now is harassing Gumball, "Did you pick anything else up on these 'clones'?"

"A molecular peculiarity, now that you mention it. It was straight down to the subatomic level. Rifts … or seams, of some kind, that exist between the bonds of their subatomic particles. In other words," She pulls the Queen close enough to whisper, "They have unstable structures. Like a bomb."

This surprised Marceline. What was Simon thinking? She trusts Bonnie, but the fact that any of these clones might be unstable and explode …

"Then should we keep them locked up or..."

"I'm working on a solution. Perhaps I could reverse engineer a portal. Just the other day, my globbzinger picked up crazy babblobo readings from the atmosphere. I analyzed the waves and vestigial particles, and I think that's where they came from."

"Then you focus on that. I'll go find the Ice King."

Marceline zips away from PB and out the window above the entryway before the Princess can protest. She then zips back briefly and pokes just her head in.

"Watch the crazy Queen. And him too 'kay, Peebs?"

And she's gone again, leaving the Princess to fume over all the foisted burdens. What was she supposed to do with this obnoxious vampire?

…

"Oh! Finn! Jake! How nice of you to come!"

The Ancient Sleeping Magi of Life Giving graciously welcomes the group into his snug, earthen abode. Everything is made of dirt, since his home is built into a hillside. Little Dude, Finn's former hat, perks up from his nap on the dirt couch and runs up to his former owner enthusiastically, jumping up to lick his face.

"Weird. I've never met a Dirt Wizard before..." Cake and Sir look about suspiciously.

"Aw, no. He's cool. See? He's got his mitts on," Finn points at the Magus' covered hands, "So, how's life treatin' ya, man?"

"Oh, you know, this and that. Who's the lady friend, Jake?" The Magus pokes at Jake while looking at Cake, much to Lady's annoyance, "And I see your horses also are in a date? What about you, Finn?"

"제이크 는 내 -!"

"A-Actually, we came to ask … how do you bring back a dead person?"

"What an odd question! That is, well … possibly one of the first things I tried giving life to..." The magus sniffles, "Sorry... It's just, death reminds me of when ... You know what I did when my mother croaked? I curled next to her grave and-"

"Alright alright, just tell us how you bring back a dead person!" Jake yells impatiently and adds surreptitiously, "...made of paper."

"I dunno fellas. If I could I might have bought back my mom myself … Thing is," He awkwardly scratches the flower atop his head, "Revival of the dead is forbidden by Wizard Law. We made a pact with Death and all-"

"But Fiona wasn't-" Finn bites his own tongue. Cake and Sir Monochromicorn and Fiona … were they actually _living_ things? He remembered what the Princess said about their scans and all, but … Ice King made them from _magic_. So would it still count?

"What if it was something made by magic?"

"You mean like … a Golem? Or a magic manservant?" The thought dawns on the magus and he rubs his chin in thought, "Huh. Never thought about that. I mean, these things I give life to pretty much become golems. Hmm... Ice King makes ice beings all the time and they're golems because they are made for and have only one purpose and no mind of their own..."

The Magus begins muttering syllogisms. Finn and company take their leave and he doesn't even notice. Little Dude waves good-bye.

"Sheesh," Jake peers at the muttering magus one last time before closing the door behind him, "The dude's still weird."

"We might be messing with the wrong side here, Jake. What if this is dark magic or something? Then we'll lose our souls and, and..." Finn wasn't hysterical. But some part of him still didn't seem to want to see Fiona again. For fear of what Ice King had said about making her. She's in love with Ice King.

"Pull yourself together!" Cake hisses, "Who's afraid of a little dark arts? Can't be all bad. And we don't know if we'll need it anyway!"

"Cake is right. And besides, who said we need magic? Let's go see Peebles. Maybe a little science is all we need," Jake hops on Rainicorn and gestures for Finn to follow suit, "To the Candy Kingdom!"

…

"Haha! Is that right?" Hunson jovially slaps his knee in laughter, "Twins of everyone?"

"I'd appreciate it if you'd keep this professional, Hunson," Peppermint Butler says, a little uptight, "I'm surprised you haven't encountered yours; nor I, mine. But anyway, I sensed the queerest energy in them."

"Tell me again about this 'Marshall Lee.' He look anything like my little monster?"

"Sir! They are – ugh, no, in fact, your daughter dumped him here for the princess to take care of. She doesn't seem to like him. Anyway, what I saw-"

"Ha HA!" Hunson bursts out boisterously, "She doesn't like him probably because she sees herself in him … what do you think?"

"I THINK..." Peppermint Butler balls his little gloved hands in quiet rage at this dismissive lord, "We should be worrying about whether these entities will tear our universe apart!"

"Huh? Whoa, chill. What are you getting at?"

"You haven't seen them yet, but I did! Their auras indicate they do not belong in this plane! Much less this universe! If the forces greater than us, the Owl, Wish maker … They could well erase us all as an abnormality!"

"Pfft. That's old governance, Peps," Hunson flutters his lips nonchalantly, "Those old coots rather pay around in a hot tub really than even glance at the world. Just look at how I rule."

Pep But sighs in defeat. Hunson was clearly too amused to even think of a threat these inverted clowns might bring. He closes the portal on Hunson without warning. It was true he had no proof other than what he saw with his magic vision. To test it would likely be dangerous. As he contemplates in his little tree hollow, the familiar face of Jake the dog pops up at the hole, startling him.

"Yo Peppermint! The Guardians said I could find you here," He hoists himself up slowly, bringing along Finn and Cake. He pokes his head outside where Sir and Lady hover about, "You should take this dude to the Princess, Lady, we'll be a while."

He narrows his eyes at the black rainicorn, "And you keep your hooves off my girl!"

"Jake!" Finn hollers as the two ribbon-like creatures leave, "I thought you said we were consulting science!"

"Oh, well, Manfried said she'd be a while, so I thought, 'hey, Peps has a lab!'"

"A _poison lab_!"

"How may I help you gentlemen," The butler ignores their squabbling. He gives Cake a quick judgmental look, "...and you, lady Cake?"

"Remember Fiona, Finn's, erm, girl? She croaked, like, turned into paper. We're looking for a revive spell."

"Well, that'll be easy. She turned to paper, you say? Do you have the compiled manuscript?"

"Oh, snap!" Finn jumps to his feet, "We gotta get 'em from Ice King!"

"Thanks, Pep! We'll be back with the papers!"

"Take your time, dudes," Peppermint Butler waves goodbye as the brothers hop out of the tree trunk and gallop away. He turns around to see Cake, "Oh, you're still here..."

"I'm watchin' you," Cake points two fingers at her eyes toward him.

"... Well, I do require some assistance now that you mention it, Miss Cake," Peppermint Butler cracks his knuckles and smiles to himself, "Yes, a very important part for you to play."


End file.
